the best things in life are free, but you can keep 'em for the birds & bees

It's official - I have gone insane. Why, you ask? Because I have actually started having Triathlon NIGHTMARES. Last night's was the best.  I show up to this crazy house (think The Shining), where I am immediately put into a dormitory with a bunch of people I neither know nor can talk to. Then I'm fed some sort of pre-race orphanage-esque slop (Please Sir, may I have some more?) and ushered out to a course that starts at a "pond" (if you could even call it that) that looks like it hosts the creature from the Black Lagoon. Needless to say I quickly get lost, turned around, and stranded riding some bicycle that would have made Dorthy's basket-fronted-cruiser look like a certified gift from the Land of Oz. 

Best part of all? The entire time I'm "racing" in my dream, I'm constantly berated by my opponents for not fundraising to my goal (now how mean is THAT). I don't know what my conscious is trying to tell me through all of this, but I figured it's partially a kick in the butt to keep raising money for the cure (while trying to swim, bike and run my backside/thighs/tummy/etc. into oblivion).

So, in a sick, sad attempt to get you to donate (now gimme money, that's what I want), and in the spirit of Leterman's Top 10, here are

THE TOP TEN REASONS YOU SHOULD DONATE TO THE CRAZY'S CAUSE

10) I just did my taxes & a HUGE write-off in 2011 sounds ama-za-zing.

9)  Someone I know was effected by blood cancer & it's too cool she's supporting!

8) I guess if she’s working out 6 days wk/5 mnths, I can give up the equivalent of 3 Chipotle burritos/ 5 Starbucks Mochas/ 1 overpriced cocktail.

7) It sounds like she’s really truckin’. Maybe I’ll get to see her in a bikini. Ha ha ha!

6) I haven’t gone to visit her in LA yet. Maybe she’ll finally forgive me.
5) I’ll probably be sitting on the couch the day of the triathlon- eating cheetos, watching old episodes of Reba or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

4) She’s not calling me to train at 5AM. Thank god, I need my beauty sleep!

3) When she one day runs the world, I totally want an invite to the Grammys/Oscars/her private island in the Caymans and I know she'd hold not donated over me forever. 

2) Maybe she'll stop sending me emails/fb msgs/IMs to do it. 1 less item to delete.

1) It's Friday & I get paid tomorrow. Not like I'll any money in 3 days anyway.

Today's Jam: "Money (That's What I Want)" by The Beatles, written by Berry Gordy (With the Beatles, 1963)

Tri this Emotion: Broke & it's no joke

Special Props Go Out To: Da Dulin, ZZzzzondra, Auntie Gorgeous, Superman Steven S & the USH Facebook Maven Michelle for their awesome contributions! 

The Be-All End-All Attitude: The Notorious BIG once said "mo' money, mo' problems" ... I think that I'd be just okay with a little more of that kind of problem-ing.